i hate you
i love you
i'm losing you
i've lost you
i miss you
i want you
i need you
i'm falling
i'm torn
broken
running
lost
cheating.
i'm misleading you.
you're just a sugar rush that will go away when i fall asleep.
just a taste that will fade.
i lost it.
i lost it when i didn't want to.
it's a secret i'll always keep.
until i forget about it.
and i mostly have.
but when i think about it i feel nothing. i've lost all emotion.
i don't feel anything anymore.
at all.
except maybe
jealousy.
"i wish i was her."
haunting my thought.
honestly i just wish i was born a guy.
being a girl is far too difficult.
sigh.
religion.
not sacreligous, just, needing my own.
but i can't do that,
or everyone would hate me.
you're so far away.
but i need you.
God is the only one who's always there for me.
and i keep forgetting that,
but.
i wish i could just love Him on my own terms.
i don't agree with alot of things in church.
whatever.
i need to do this more often.
vent my feelings.
you're only fourteen,
ringing ringing ringing.
i'll always be here.
i'm not moving.
i'm not leaving this damn town.
as much as i need to.
my mom won't get off of my back.
my sister is stressed.
i think i may be depressed.
all my friends may be leaving.
i'm faking half of my life.
they tell me i'll be someone,
i don't believe them.

now playing: Roads That Don't End And Views That Never Cease- We Came As Romans.

xoxo.